How to get the Ladies

You just need a little practice and some natural ability.



Everyone woman loves a musician.

Fulfill Their Fantasies!

I came across this great article about what really turns women on... Helping out with the housework, of all things.

Pictures Needed

So I've noticed on the tracking program that we're starting to gather a number of regular visitors to the site.

I really appreciate you coming to read what I take time to write. Feel free to comment back, to confirm that you agree with what I'm writing, or even to respectfully debate an issue. If there's a topic you'd like discuss you can write me directly at n3cessary@gmail.com or in the comments.

I wanted to throw this out there to see what help I could get. I'm looking to gather some pictures of what to, and what not to, wear. Send in pictures of men you see on the street or find online. You can attach them to the comments or to my email, either way is fine.

When I get enough good examples (and go for the extremes!) I'll post them up and we'll have a discussion about what works and what doesn't in men's fashion.

Thanks for the help!

-J. Eliot

sometimes the clothes do make the man

Beauty and The Beast Syndrome (Or why she likes you even if you're not as hot as she is)

In my previous Dating on Your Level article I mentioned that when it comes to physical attractiveness men can get away with dating slightly uphill.

What does this mean? Well, it's a very fortunately thing indeed, Gentlemen. This means that if you're an 8 physically, you might very well be able to have a solid relationship with a 9 or even a 10, but this depends on a few details.

First, are you secure enough with yourself emotionally to handle the fact that there definitely are hotter guys out there who will be hitting on your (current or future) Lady? Can you handle this?

Second, you must have some sort of other redeeming traits. Let me explain.

Lesson 101 on the psychology of women: Unless the guy is a 10, when a woman first meets a guy he's automatically a 5 or a 1. It doesn't matter if you're a solid 9, you'll be dropped to a 5 by default. If you're a 2 or 3 it's even worse... chances are in her eyes you're a 1. Here's the good news though. According to the bell curve most of us will automatically be seen as a five simply due to statistical probability.

So lets assume you're on your path to becoming a polished Gentleman. You work out, eat well, dress nice. You've raised yourself to an 8 and you're proud of it. So, in your confidence, you walk up to a very attractive woman and say hello. She gives you a the cordial smile, but you can see it in her eyes. The number five is reflecting right back at you. So you feel a little discouraged.

Why is this, you ask? Simply put, she doesn't know you yet. She's an attractive woman. She's guarded and will automatically not give you the benefit of the doubt. In her mind you might be an alright looking guy, but you're probably just trying to get her into bed.

Here's you're chance to shine. Remember, you must have some sort of redeeming traits, and you do. You've been working on your social skills, your sense of humor, your ability to dance... maybe all three. So you take your time and have a conversation. You allow her to realize that you're not a wolf on the prowl, but a respectable and interesting person. The more she gets to know YOU, honestly and authentically, the more she starts to notice that maybe you're not really a 5 at all... yes... you're definitely an 8.

You're doing better... but don't rush it... she might really like you right away because of some sort of connection you made while talking the first time and you're all of a sudden up to a 10 in her eyes... but chances are it could take a few days or weeks of being friends for her to really take a liking to you. And when she does you'll have changed your 5 into a 10.

A woman's opinion of how physically attractive a man is is highly highly dependent on how much she likes him. So give her a chance to get to know you.

-J. Eliot

numbers, numbers, numbers

Cuddling

What's wrong with men?

It recently came to my attention that my girlfriend REALLY REALLY appreciates the simple fact that while watching a moving or laying in bed I will cuddle her. Yes, cuddle.

So I asked why she was so appreciative. Yes, most girls like to cuddle and be close, but according to her she's never really had a boyfriend who will hold her close the way I do.

I just don't understand this. Sure, some guys don't really like cuddling. I guess they feel it just isn't manly. But come on, do you really care about her? Do you enjoy giving her what she wants and making her happy? It's such a simple thing to do and heck, it could always lead to more than cuddling because she feels loved and secure.

Here's a little article I found on how to cuddle. Now you have no excuses. =)

-J. Eliot

dammit, treat your woman good

Dating on your level

Everyone wants a ten, right? Every guy is looking to attract the eye of the hottest girl in the room.

You know how it is. All of us take a look around and find that girl who's just a step below super-model and at some point in the night we make our move. There are all sorts of pick-up styles, and no doubt you have yours, but did you ever happen to consider how many times THAT girl gets hit on in a night? Maybe you have, but you live by the "better to try and fail than never know" policy. And you could be right... there's always a chance, right? You might end up with that super-hottie!

Here's the thing though - if you're looking for a long term relationship it's probably best not to hit on that cute ten minding her business in the corner.

Why, you scream. A long term relationship with a super hot girl sounds great!

Yes, it does, but only if you are at or near her level. Let me explain.

First you must determine your own "level" in several areas - intellectually, emotionally, and physically are a good start. Let's use a 10 point scale while we're at it.

So we've got Jimmy Hottiewanter here. Jimmy is a regular guy. He played football in high school but is slightly out of shape since then. He's been through a few major life issues and can take care of himself, he also holds down a regular job. Let's say he's straight 6's. 6I, 6E, and 6P.

Jimmy meets Lea Dumbblonder at a bar. She's clearly a 2I, 6E, 9P. Chances are they're not good for much more than a one night hook-up. Jimmy is clearly smarter and will probably look down on her for her nearly retarded comments and she's so much more attractive than Jimmy that he will forever feel intimidated by better looking guys.

This leads to a major imbalance in the relationship where he's never quite secure and starts acting it out subconsciously, probably by making fun of her intelligence. This relationship is highly unlikely to work out.

If you really look around at solid happily married couples, they are usually at or about the same level. This is for good reason too. In order to have balance in the relationship both parties need to be equally attracted to each other, have a balanced emotional relationship, and generally be able to stimulate (or not stimulate) each other mentally.

So be honest with yourself and don't give yourself a 9 if you know deep down you're a 7.

So who should Jimmy Hottiewanter be looking for? It's best not to stray too far physically. Jimmie is a 6, so he could probably be okay with a 6 to a 7 (and yes, a female 7P isn't too far for a male 6P because of something I call the "Beauty and the Best Syndrome." More on that later.)

Emotionally, relationships seem to work best when the male is equal to or above the female. So Jimmy, being a 6E, should look for a girl around a 5E to 6E.

Intelligence is a little different and really depends on the individuals. If there's a solid connection between physical and emotional compatibilities, intelligence can be further apart and the relationship should still be ok. So Jimmy could date any mid-range intelligence girl, probably 4-7. Again, because of the male/female dynamic though, Jimmy being the average guy will still probably be more comfortable with a girl equal to or lesser intellectually.

So give you (and your significant other/potential significant other) some scores and see where you fall. Do you have issues because of this imbalance?

The next time you're out meeting girls, maybe you should be honest with yourself and pay more attention to the ones you normally pass over but are actually on your level physically. Chances are you have better luck and might meet someone worth keeping around.

-J. Eliot

you might be surprised...

The Science of Orgasm

The oh-oh-OH-so mysterious world of the orgasm is hard to explain scientifically.

"The intensity builds to a crescendo, and just like a long-awaited sneeze, tension is released in an explosive rush. The heart rate doubles. In women, the uterus contracts rhythmically; in men, sperm-carrying semen is propelled out of the body.

And somehow, by mechanisms not yet understood, the brain perceives all this activity as a darn good feeling."

An interesting read.

-J. Eliot

oh, oh, oh