It still surprises me every time someone discovers kindness and finds it unexpected.
Let me explain.
As a gentleman there are small things you work into your identity over time - opening doors for people (not just women); responding to the cashier's, "Have a good day" with a genuine, "You too!"; or even offering to drive.
In general when my girlfriend and I head out on the town I've established that we'll take my car and that I'll drive. Please note that this isn't any sort of control issue, or critique of her driving, but a simple courtesy. The idea is that 1) she'd rather not have to deal with traffic and 2) the wear on my vehicle and cost of gas is something I'd willingly contribute to the relationship. It's a small price to pay for her admiration.
So, we've been together for a while now and I'm very much used to just driving regardless of the situation. This last weekend she invited her girlfriend to come out with us for the day. This was a decision she made without me because her friend was without family for the holiday, which wasn't a problem at all. So I picked them both up and we headed off to our plans.
I think I did a total of about 3 1/2 hours of driving, a few hundred miles, and most of a tank of gas. Upon exiting the car when we finally got back she said in a very sincere tone, "Wow. Thanks so much for driving and letting me join you guys."
Now this is a little thing, but the idea remains that she didn't just thank me for letting her join us for the day. She thanked me for driving.
This wasn't even on my radar and I had no need for a thank you, but in some small way it impressed her that I'd take the time to drive and make things easier for her.
My girlfriend then responded about how I always drive and how much she likes it. You know you're doing something right when they tell their friends about it, even when it's the little things.
-J.Eliot
they add up
