The Qualities of a Gentleman - Part 2

Continued from The Qualities of a Gentleman - Part 1

6) Genuine - A real Gentleman cares, and he shows it. There is a fine line between helping a Lady with her coat because you're trying to manipulate her feelings and because you care. It is the distinction between taking and giving, self interest and selflessness.

A Gentleman acts with all the best intentions in mind, and speaks from the soul about things that really matter with authentic feelings. He's secure enough in himself that he needs no disguise or ruse.

7) Well Put-Together - Let's face it guys, most of us are not Brad Pitt. Women don't necessarily stop to gawk and drool when we walk in the room because of our deep blue eyes, amazing jawline, and perfect hair. Chances are that if your physical genetic makeup was the initial two cards at a game of Texas Hold-em, you'd have folded. You might have a king, but the other card's definitely a four.

So what's a Gentleman to do? Dress it up. Be aware of your body type and what clothes look good on you to other people. Just because you like the color doesn't mean it goes with your skin or hair tones. Get a flattering haircut from someone who knows what they're doing. Shave regularly or maintain good facial hair if you can grow it and wear it well.

Heck, test this out and walk into a store dressed in jeans and an old t-shirt and then go back later in something nice and see how they treat you differently. If you look important, people (and women) will treat you that way.

8) Healthy - I'm going to say it. This is a warning so that you won't read it and then click away. Here it comes...

Diet and Exercise.

Yes. You can't get away from these things. You don't have to look like a musclebound meat-head, but women like muscles and in order to see them you can't have too much fat on your body.

Making sure to eat well and exercise does more than just make you look better. You'll be more confident when you walk in a room. You'll feel better, have more energy, and there's something about forcing yourself do the things you know you should but don't always want to that builds character.

9) Talented and Skilled - Every Gentleman should have at least one solid talent and one major skill.

Whether it be music, dancing (yes, this can be very attractive to the Ladies), juggling, or underwater basket weaving having at least one thing, if not a number of things, that you've put enough time and energy into to achieve a certain above average ability in conveys deeper meaning about your character. It says that you're an interesting person, that you're a little different from a regular Joe, and that you're fun. Your significant other will probably grin to herself when you get to show off your talent because from her perspective she's really showing you off to the other women who can't have you.

Skills are important also. They show that you're a hard worker, that you've been doing something long enough to be employable and maybe even in high demand. That means you're worth something, and there's nothing unattractive about the potential to make a good income.

10) Aware - Be aware. Take notice of other people. Pay attention to social cues. Make mental lists when talking with others (especially women) of the topics they bring up. If someone initiates conversation about something it usually means its important to them.

When you're with a Lady and she talks about other people, remember their names, relations, and the significance in her life. Always treat her mother with respect, kindness, and a little charm, and become friends with her father. Write down key dates if you have to and make a point to notice and value for yourself the very things she does.

Bonus - Be Fun! - Nobody likes someone who's serious all the time. Cultivate your sense of humor. Include it in the list of talents you're working on. Take improv comedy classes, analyze comedians, and hang out with other funny people.

Get out and do fun things. You could hang at the bar with your bros, or you could mountain bike, ski, go dancing (did I already mention this?), just get out and have fun doing things you might not normally.

If everyone around you is boring it's because everyone who's fun is out doing fun things.

You can even use this to double up on some of your other goals. Fun things often include developing talents, exercise, and meeting interesting people (ahem, Ladies).

So get out there and have some fun. Life's for living, isn't it?

-J. Eliot

the ladies love a man who can dance...

Do you prefer women with straight or curly hair?

Here's an interesting article about men's reactions to the same woman with curly hair and straight hair.

Here's a snip:

• The straight profile was viewed 1,606 times for the month, while the curly one received 1,063 views during the month it was posted.
• The flat-ironed look drew 181 e-mails, compared with 60 for the curly profile.
• On the flirtatious side, the stick-straight profile received 120 winks, while curly locks caught winks from 60 men.
• In about 10 percent of the dates, hair made a difference, while confidence was the driving factor in the remainder of the connections.

What do you think? Which do you prefer?



-J. Eliot

is in the majority

Surviving Divorce

Hello all, I'm the other half of the Gentleman's Guide team. I've been caught up in the maelstrom known as real life for the better part of two months. I'm only actually coming up for air before I dive back down, but I thought I'd link to an interesting article that I came across.

Without further ado: Just divorced: how I survived

For the Gentleman fathers out there - Baby Do's and Do Nots

More here.

-J. Eliot

more funny stuff, good times.

A Scientific Explanation for Douchebags

Well, a scientific explanation according to cracked.com for douchebags.

Note to self, don't be a douchebag.

-J. Eliot

...funny stuff.

Like, Love, and Lust

A solid, long lasting romantic relationship requires a balance of Like, Love, and Lust. Without all three you end up with something else altogether.

Let’s examine what we get with only certain aspects present:

Like – Love & Lust = Your Dog

You really really like your dog. He’s man’s best friend after all. He cheers you up when you’re down, he’s always excited when you come home, he guards the house, and he might even get you the morning paper. You could say you “love” your dog, but let’s be honest. It’s the type of love you reserve for animals, not people. And don’t even bring lust close to this one, weirdo.

Other possibilities: Your extended friend group, that funny guy at work who sends the naughty emails even though he’ll get fired for it one day, your really cool 10^th grade science teacher.

Love – Like & Lust = Your Crazy Uncle

You see Crazy Uncle Larry about once a year. You love the guy, he’s part of your family and if ever he was in actual trouble you’d be there to bail him out (of jail quite possibly.) But let’s face it. You don’t really like the guy much. He smells funny, he’s loud and pushy, he makes the biggest mess at Thanksgiving but never helps clean up. He’s pretty much the one douche-bag you have to love because he’s your uncle.

Others: Maybe your parents, siblings who never grew up and got past the childhood bickering.

Lust – Like & Love = Whores, Ho bags, Hoochies, Street Walkers, Hookers, Women of the Night, Porn Stars, etc.

No other explanation necessary.

Like & Love – Lust = Grandpa Richie Wealthypants

He’s a cool dude, a regular pimp in his day. He’s retired and wealthy and reminds you how stinking loaded he is through the expensive gifts he sends you every birthday. He’s your grandpa after all and it’s his job to spoil the grandkids. He has limitless library of “true life” stories that never cease to entertain you while shocking and embarrassing your parents. He’s the only one who can talk like a sailor at family gatherings and the old coot gets away with it because he’s the wealthy patriarch and everyone wants to stay on his good side. Grandpa freakin’ rules.

Others: Your parents, siblings, children.

Like & Lust – Love = Your Best Friends Girlfriend

Queue the song. She’s a fun girl. Your best friend seems pretty happy and you can understand why. She’s quite attractive and a blast to hang out with. In fact, you’re not even sure how a guy like him managed to attract a girl like that in the first place, let alone hang onto her. You wish she was with you, but its okay. You have to be happy for your friend, right? And he brings her around with him, so you get to hang out with her, so that’s a sort of second best, right? Son of a bitch.

Others: That hot science teacher from 12^th grade, your mutual break-up ex-girlfriend, the really hot intern in billing.

Love & Lust – Like = The Bad Relationship Girlfriend

You swear you love her. You don’t remember though if that feeling of love came before or after you had sex. Maybe it was after… no, you felt that way before the sex, right? Wait. It’s so hard to remember. Well, it doesn’t matter, right? You love her now and that’s all that matters. Why can’t she remember to pick up the jelly from the store. Stupid twat (any Dane Cook fans?.) And what the hell is with her obsession with that stupid band, and that stupid show with those annoying people, and all the nagging. She’s such a bitch.

Others: The ex-bad relationship girlfriend, no wait… you never really did love her.

Like & Love & Lust = The Healthy Relationship Girlfriend

Either you have the balance or you don’t. You like the way she treats you, the way she talks about you to her friends, the way she considers your feelings and balances her life with yours without being smothering. You love having her in your life, you’d do anything to make her smile, and in hard times you sacrifice your own wants to take care of her first. And wow are you attracted to her. Sure, she’s a real world human being, just like everyone else, but when you look at her the world melts away. To you she’s the most beautiful girl in the world and you can’t ever imagine it differently.

The three not only balance but increase each other. The more you like her, the more you’ll love her and the more attracted to her you’ll become. The more attracted the more you’ll like her, the more you love and act in her best interest the happier she’ll be and more fun to be with.

This is, of course, a perfect and idealistic example, and it definitely takes work on the part of both parties, but it isn’t beyond reach with someone you naturally click with – especially when they share the same balance of like, love, and lust toward you.

-J. Eliot

The Qualities of a Gentleman - Part 1

11 Qualities of a Gentleman - In no particular order:

1) Selflessness - A Gentleman thinks of others before himself. Especially when it comes to significant others, children, or that random hot babe you held the door for at the store. A genuine selflessness is a very rare quality. It may not be obvious to others at first, but women will take notice as they grow to know you.

This, by no means, communicates that you're a pushover. You put the best interests of others first, but when it comes to standing up for yourself...

2) Firmness - ...you stand strong for what you believe in. You act in all things according to what you know to be right and when someone challenges that (whether it be the phone company ripping you off or your sister's creepy boyfriend) you stand firm.

Don't take this too far though. You are not rigid and unbending. You carefully consider the feelings and opinions of those you respect, but when pushed unfairly, you form the solid foundation.

Remember, stable, not constant.

3) Self Control - A Gentleman acts with purpose and plans ahead what actions are within his realm of possibilities.

You drink, but you know when to stop so that you don't get drunk. You escort a Lady home, but you know ahead of time how far you might go if invited in in order to treat her with respect. You know how easy it would be to eat that second plate at dinner, but you turn it down. You could convince yourself that you're too tired to work out after a long day at the office, but you get home and put on your running shoes anyway.

This may not seem like fun, but once you start living up to your own expectations your self esteem and opinion of yourself will skyrocket. Leading ultimately to...

4) Confidence - You know what you're doing. You know what you're good at and what you're not. You make the most of your positive qualities and your talents and are not afraid to admit your faults and work harder to improve.

You do what you say. You believe in yourself regardless of what others might think because deep down you know you've worked hard to become the Gentleman you are. You know you're a good person because you've walked through the fires of self improvement.

People with confidence exude it and confidence is the most attractive quality one could have.

5) Honesty - A Gentleman lives by his word. He does not take advantage of other people. His friends and coworkers know that when he says something he means it.

Honesty builds trust and respect - other attractive qualities. On the flip side, the Gentleman is also guarded and aware that not everyone is as honest as he attempts to be. So he is wary and careful and does not blindly commit his trust in others who show signs of being untrustworthy.

The Qualities of a Gentleman - Part 2

-J. Eliot

do it, you won't