My girlfriend and I had a conversation last night that went something like this:
Me: I have a hard time imagining being a woman and being attracted to men.
Her: Yeah?
Me: Yeah, not that I can't tell which men are more attractive to women, or why, I just think I'd have extremely high standards.
Her: Why's that?
Me: Because most guys are douche-bags.
Her: Well, most girls are bitches.
Me: True, but I think I have less tolerance for douche-bags.
Her: We make exceptions. That's just how we are. I know I couldn't put up with a woman.
Me: Yeah, I guess I'm more willing to make exceptions for a certain amount of bitchy-ness. I guess without the biological inclination to be attracted to men it's very hard to imaging making exceptions. I'd have extremely high standards and would drop a guy at the first sign of douche-baggery.
This conversation came about while watching an episode of Tila Tequila. My girlfriend likes the show and I hadn't seen it before. It's basically bisexual "The Bachelor" for those who don't know.
On this particular episode Tila was down to 4 people, 2 guys and 2 girls, and she had to let one go. In an unprecedented television feat she kept the 3 nice people and dropped the douche-bag.
This guy was livid. He knocked stuff over, flicked everyone off, and stormed out. In the clips earlier in the show he kept saying how much he loved her, but in every shot of him looking at Tila you'd see his eyes scan her up and down checking her out. He constantly had the look of a hungry shark and not once showed any form of kindness or consideration for her. He was out to get laid, and when that door closed his true colors came flying out like a 3 year old temper tantrum.
Of course this is an extreme example, but there is a part of this douche-bag in every man. The true mark of the gentleman is the ability to tame this, to think with the head on top of your shoulders, and to understand that loving someone is first a selfless act, and only secondarily are there any sort of rewards.
And on another note, make sure to act your age. People who hang out with 3 year olds are called parents or baby-sitters.
-J. Eliot
me me me me me me me
3 comments:
I just stumbled upon your blog. I am glad to see that there are true gentlemen out there, thankyou. Keep it up!
I totally agree. Every man, no matter how much me may deny it has that "douche bag" side to him. I've often seen it triggered, and ill admit to this, by frustration, although the guys motives in your example where of a false nature in the first place. He obviously deserved what he got and i bet pound to a pinch of salt he did not consider the fact that a more gentlemanly approach MAY have served him in good stead. This type of behavior does not help womens conceptions of men often inclining a sexual partiachle nature.
Unfortunately, many guys these days may act on impulse, not actually realizing the effect of their actions, again i am guilty of this in the past. However as you stated: "...The true mark of the gentleman is the ability to tame this,.."
But in the defense of gentlemen everywhere, my past experiences of selflessness in some ways made a situation worse for myself and others around me or only prompted another person to take advantage of what was genuine kindness. These poor experiences may result in a lack of thought in the future i.e douche bag in example?
Is it fair to say that selflessness in some rare cases may be the weaker option? Despite it being the most noble thing to do?
Mark.
That is a good question, MarkW. It is true that selflessness is often taken advantage of, but IMO that doesn't mean it's necessarily the "weaker" option. Anything that takes more personal strength is never weak.
This is where being disciplined in your interpersonal interactions is key. It's hard to describe here, but there's a certain strength in making others aware that you're taking the high road while keeping an eye on how they treat you in return. If they take advantage that doesn't mean you've fully lost control, and in fact have all the reason in the world to inform them of their mistake and how you will then change your actions accordingly.
I know this comes off very vague and I apologize. I'll try to come up with something more cohesive and clear to post on in the future.
Thanks for commenting and I'll try to post more often.
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