Beauty and The Beast Syndrome (Or why she likes you even if you're not as hot as she is)

In my previous Dating on Your Level article I mentioned that when it comes to physical attractiveness men can get away with dating slightly uphill.

What does this mean? Well, it's a very fortunately thing indeed, Gentlemen. This means that if you're an 8 physically, you might very well be able to have a solid relationship with a 9 or even a 10, but this depends on a few details.

First, are you secure enough with yourself emotionally to handle the fact that there definitely are hotter guys out there who will be hitting on your (current or future) Lady? Can you handle this?

Second, you must have some sort of other redeeming traits. Let me explain.

Lesson 101 on the psychology of women: Unless the guy is a 10, when a woman first meets a guy he's automatically a 5 or a 1. It doesn't matter if you're a solid 9, you'll be dropped to a 5 by default. If you're a 2 or 3 it's even worse... chances are in her eyes you're a 1. Here's the good news though. According to the bell curve most of us will automatically be seen as a five simply due to statistical probability.

So lets assume you're on your path to becoming a polished Gentleman. You work out, eat well, dress nice. You've raised yourself to an 8 and you're proud of it. So, in your confidence, you walk up to a very attractive woman and say hello. She gives you a the cordial smile, but you can see it in her eyes. The number five is reflecting right back at you. So you feel a little discouraged.

Why is this, you ask? Simply put, she doesn't know you yet. She's an attractive woman. She's guarded and will automatically not give you the benefit of the doubt. In her mind you might be an alright looking guy, but you're probably just trying to get her into bed.

Here's you're chance to shine. Remember, you must have some sort of redeeming traits, and you do. You've been working on your social skills, your sense of humor, your ability to dance... maybe all three. So you take your time and have a conversation. You allow her to realize that you're not a wolf on the prowl, but a respectable and interesting person. The more she gets to know YOU, honestly and authentically, the more she starts to notice that maybe you're not really a 5 at all... yes... you're definitely an 8.

You're doing better... but don't rush it... she might really like you right away because of some sort of connection you made while talking the first time and you're all of a sudden up to a 10 in her eyes... but chances are it could take a few days or weeks of being friends for her to really take a liking to you. And when she does you'll have changed your 5 into a 10.

A woman's opinion of how physically attractive a man is is highly highly dependent on how much she likes him. So give her a chance to get to know you.

-J. Eliot

numbers, numbers, numbers