1) Get her opinion, but keep her guessing.
A girl needs to know a little bit about what she's getting herself into, and it benefits you to know a little bit about what she's into. So ask. Find out if there's something specific she likes to eat or a certain type of place she likes to go. Don't come at it with open ended questions though. Don't say, "What do you like to eat?" Say, "Do you like Sushi?" Or "Do you prefer playing pool at a bar or watching a show?" She let you know how she feels.
Once you have a few ideas of what she's into come up with the rest of the date but don't fill her in on the details. This adds a little surprise while making her comfortable and looking forward to something she knows she'll already like.
2) Include something in the date she's never done before.
This is important because it shows that being with you will be exciting and new.
Take her some place you know she's never been, and don't just let it be the bar closer to your house. Take her somewhere interesting AND romantic and be creative. Go out on a lake with drinks in a canoe, get on top of a roof and look at the stars, or find a perfect and new place that you can revisit later and make it your own.
Take the opportunity to introduce her to new things as well. Order a glass of wine she's never tasted but you know is excellent or play her some first date appropriate music in your car and tell her something interesting about the band. Give her a hint at the other facets of your life and knowledge.
3) Why drop names when you could introduce her personally?
This is assuming that you've already worked into your life some interesting connections in some sort of scene before going on this date. In one of my previous articles I wrote about improving yourself by getting out and doing fun things. If you've done this enough you now know a few interesting and semi-famous people.
So lets say you're up on the local music scene. While at the show introduce her to the band. Maybe you both love to golf and you're personal friends with the course pro. Introduce her and maybe even sign her up for lessons. Think about your social circles and you're bound to come up with some cool people. You'll appear cool by proxy (regardless of any lack in your own talents.)
4) Play it cool.
Don't be THAT guy. You know who I'm talking about. The one that comes on too strong and appears desperate. He clings to her every word and is obviously way more into her than she's into him.
Stay a bit aloof. Be charming, romantic, and complimentary, but don't emote all over her. Show her that she's important, but not the most important thing in your life. A guy who attaches too quickly looks like he doesn't have enough other things going on. And if ever you want another date it isn't a bad thing for her to think that you're a hot commodity and that she might have some competition. Women find men attractive because other women like them.
5) Don't kiss until the end of the date.
This is another "What?" recommendation, but go with me here.
First, this is your first date. It's not about getting all hot and heavy and looking like you're only interested in her sexually. This should be the date where you figure out how much you enjoy simply spending time together doing fun things. Hold hands, walk arm in arm, and stare into each other's eyes over the dinner table (and don't be that couple that sits side by side in the booth!) Most of all, let her wonder if kissing will happen.
Second, girls like kissing. They can tell a lot about a guy by his kiss, so save it for last. You will know when the time is right and by then she'll be wondering why you haven't tried for a kiss yet and, assuming the date went well, she'll be hoping for one. She'll give you signals, she'll start pulling you closer and lingering in your eyes. This also lessens the threat of having the kiss rejected.
And don't worry, if you've proven yourself the true Gentleman there will be another date, and time for more kisses (and more...), should you want it.
-J. Eliot
striving to be different
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