Like, Love, and Lust

A solid, long lasting romantic relationship requires a balance of Like, Love, and Lust. Without all three you end up with something else altogether.

Let’s examine what we get with only certain aspects present:

Like – Love & Lust = Your Dog

You really really like your dog. He’s man’s best friend after all. He cheers you up when you’re down, he’s always excited when you come home, he guards the house, and he might even get you the morning paper. You could say you “love” your dog, but let’s be honest. It’s the type of love you reserve for animals, not people. And don’t even bring lust close to this one, weirdo.

Other possibilities: Your extended friend group, that funny guy at work who sends the naughty emails even though he’ll get fired for it one day, your really cool 10^th grade science teacher.

Love – Like & Lust = Your Crazy Uncle

You see Crazy Uncle Larry about once a year. You love the guy, he’s part of your family and if ever he was in actual trouble you’d be there to bail him out (of jail quite possibly.) But let’s face it. You don’t really like the guy much. He smells funny, he’s loud and pushy, he makes the biggest mess at Thanksgiving but never helps clean up. He’s pretty much the one douche-bag you have to love because he’s your uncle.

Others: Maybe your parents, siblings who never grew up and got past the childhood bickering.

Lust – Like & Love = Whores, Ho bags, Hoochies, Street Walkers, Hookers, Women of the Night, Porn Stars, etc.

No other explanation necessary.

Like & Love – Lust = Grandpa Richie Wealthypants

He’s a cool dude, a regular pimp in his day. He’s retired and wealthy and reminds you how stinking loaded he is through the expensive gifts he sends you every birthday. He’s your grandpa after all and it’s his job to spoil the grandkids. He has limitless library of “true life” stories that never cease to entertain you while shocking and embarrassing your parents. He’s the only one who can talk like a sailor at family gatherings and the old coot gets away with it because he’s the wealthy patriarch and everyone wants to stay on his good side. Grandpa freakin’ rules.

Others: Your parents, siblings, children.

Like & Lust – Love = Your Best Friends Girlfriend

Queue the song. She’s a fun girl. Your best friend seems pretty happy and you can understand why. She’s quite attractive and a blast to hang out with. In fact, you’re not even sure how a guy like him managed to attract a girl like that in the first place, let alone hang onto her. You wish she was with you, but its okay. You have to be happy for your friend, right? And he brings her around with him, so you get to hang out with her, so that’s a sort of second best, right? Son of a bitch.

Others: That hot science teacher from 12^th grade, your mutual break-up ex-girlfriend, the really hot intern in billing.

Love & Lust – Like = The Bad Relationship Girlfriend

You swear you love her. You don’t remember though if that feeling of love came before or after you had sex. Maybe it was after… no, you felt that way before the sex, right? Wait. It’s so hard to remember. Well, it doesn’t matter, right? You love her now and that’s all that matters. Why can’t she remember to pick up the jelly from the store. Stupid twat (any Dane Cook fans?.) And what the hell is with her obsession with that stupid band, and that stupid show with those annoying people, and all the nagging. She’s such a bitch.

Others: The ex-bad relationship girlfriend, no wait… you never really did love her.

Like & Love & Lust = The Healthy Relationship Girlfriend

Either you have the balance or you don’t. You like the way she treats you, the way she talks about you to her friends, the way she considers your feelings and balances her life with yours without being smothering. You love having her in your life, you’d do anything to make her smile, and in hard times you sacrifice your own wants to take care of her first. And wow are you attracted to her. Sure, she’s a real world human being, just like everyone else, but when you look at her the world melts away. To you she’s the most beautiful girl in the world and you can’t ever imagine it differently.

The three not only balance but increase each other. The more you like her, the more you’ll love her and the more attracted to her you’ll become. The more attracted the more you’ll like her, the more you love and act in her best interest the happier she’ll be and more fun to be with.

This is, of course, a perfect and idealistic example, and it definitely takes work on the part of both parties, but it isn’t beyond reach with someone you naturally click with – especially when they share the same balance of like, love, and lust toward you.

-J. Eliot